The Beginning of the End
by redlollypoplips
Summary: Cora/ Simon Bricker short story. Cora struggles with her feelings for Simon Bricker. Disclaimer: I do not own Downton Abbey.
1. Chapter 1

**The Beginning of The End**

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><p>Cora took out her needle black hair pins and tight bun, before lying down on her bedroom settee, allowing her long raven curls to spread across the red silk pillow. Sinking into the soft material she let her eyelids close, her mind wandering to the events that had passed.<p>

She had been a nervous wreck all day, fidgeting and snapping abruptly at the staff. Since her dinner with Mr Simon Bricker, exactly one week from today, she had felt somewhat happier. Even Edith, who had seemed so distant lately, had told her that she looked brighter, bubblier even. At first she had brushed away any romantic thoughts of Mr Bricker, attributing her new found joy to going out on the town for the first time in as long as she could remember. But, as the days passed, she found herself thinking only of him and not about the elegant restaurant that they had dined at, or the museum filled with unique art pieces that she had at the time adored, feeling drawn to the pieces. She had tried to bury away her feelings, convincing herself that his flattery and kindness towards her was simply his way of being polite and nothing more.

But, it wouldn't do. All her thoughts always seemed to find their way back to him.

Robert had errands to run in the city and had sent her a telegram letting her know that he would need to stay on another day. He hadn't even bothered asking her if she'd like to go with him. They hadn't done anything together for quite some time. But, he obviously didn't feel that way inclined and she didn't want to push. She didn't like going somewhere with someone if she knew that they didn't want her there; it made her feel uneasy; like she was a burden.

Mr Bricker had come to look at the painting yet again. But, this time she hadn't been so welcoming towards him. She hadn't thanked him when he complimented her deep purple silk dress which clung to her in all the right places, nor had she smiled when he had told her that he valued her opinions and enjoyed their conversations together. She had wanted to punish herself for taking such an attitude, it pained her to see him hurting. When all she really wanted to do was place her hands through his thick brown almost black hair and take his lips in hers.

The events of the evening ran, like a roll of film through her head.

* * *

><p>Cora didn't know whether it was coincidence of fate that they had met in the dimly lit hallway, just above the grand staircase. She nodded at him, her mouth pursed in a smile of acknowledgement, but nothing more. He smiled back, waiting for her by the mahogany railing of the staircase. Walking towards him she felt her heart pounding like a drum in her chest and she hoped that he didn't notice the redness that now filled her apple cheeks.<p>

The closer she got to him the more she felt like she wanted to run away. She had never had such deep feelings for a man before and she didn't quite know how to behave. And Robert. She couldn't even begin to think about what this would mean for her marriage.

But, she couldn't stop. So she would have to force the situation.

"Sorry Mr Bricker -you go down stairs," she paused looking into his wanting eyes, a lump in her throat.

"I-I forgot something," she said pointing back to her room.

She needed to get away. She couldn't control herself around him.

But, he had been quick and before she could even think about getting far away from him and soothing her guilt ridden heart, he gently took her wrist in his hand and spun her around so that they were locked in each other's gaze, their bodies only inches apart.

Cora gasped, her chest heaving as she looked into his blue eyes, his face serious, passionate. Her heart was beating wildly and her mind spinning, like a merry-go-round, in fast circles as she contemplated pulling him into her bedroom.

"Cora, have I done or said something to upset you?" He asked in a whisper, his tone concerned, his eyes possessed with a need to soothe her.

His hand had now pleasantly moved to cover her own and she could feel his warmth spread through her body. Even if she had wanted to move, she couldn't move an inch.

"No. I'm fine," she managed, her throat tight.

"You're sure? Because to upset you would be the last thing I would ever want to do." His tone was charming yet so tender at the same time.

"Yes, I'm sure," she dropped her gaze for a moment looking down at their hands, a small smile forming across her face.

"You've done everything right. _Too right_," she continued, her voice raspy and seductive. She didn't know what had come over her but she didn't want this fantasy to end.

His eyes gleamed an ocean blue, tantalizing and daring her on. Just then his hand brushed against her wedding band and Cora's eyes opened wide, as if to remember who she was. Alarm bells went off in her head, shouting at her to stop, even though it was the last thing her heart wanted. She parted from him, his face sad. She didn't know if it was from the guilt or the lust and love that felt foreign to her but, Cora's eyes now prickled with unshed tears.

"I am sorry Mr Bricker," she said, her voice cracking with emotion.

"Cora, darling," he said in a tone that told her that he had some understanding of how she was feeling.

He pleaded with her. "Cora, wait. We should talk."

But, it was too late for she had already gone into her room.

Mr Bricker hoped she would come downstairs to have dinner. But, he knew she wouldn't. In that split second everything between them had changed.

They had begun something.

* * *

><p>Cora pulled the sash of her blue silk robe tighter around her waist as she felt the skin on her arms prickle from the cool night breeze which blew in from the large open window. But she wasn't cold, she was filled with regret and a deep-seated despair at the years that she could no longer reclaim – lost to her forever. She had been pushed into the marriage by her mother who wanted status and Robert had married her for her money. And even though they had developed an affection for one another, Cora had never known true love.<p>

The emerald green drapes danced in the wind, revealing the haunting black sky, its bright yellow stars illuminating the room. During the day, her life seemed pleasant enough. But the day, with its light and its golden sunshine has a way of tricking us and absorbing all our problems.

But when the night comes, and you look out into the dark night's sky, and you feel the cool air slice through the side of your cheeks, a shiver passes through you.

That is the moment when reality hits you, and your heart is loaded with pain - about to burst at any second.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Private Desires**

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><p>Her eyes were locked shut but her mind was racing, thoughts of him rushing in. Cora desperately wanted to stop; end the madness but her heart wouldn't let her forget Simon Bricker. The mere thought of him fed her heart, pumping it full of life, awakening all her senses and private desires. She used to be this way; dangerous, passionate and talking life by the moment. In her youth, she used to walk outside barefoot and without a care in the world. She had been happy once before. But, somehow happiness, like a neglected friend, had forgotten her.<p>

Sometimes it felt as if she was a mere possession in this glorified house, chained to it for the end of her days and never to leave. She had relived the memory of her and Mr Bricker's outing in London time and time again before bed, until exhaustion set in and sleep would take her to a happier place. Robert knew that she had an interest in the arts and that she had even studied it, but it wasn't really an interest of his. They had exquisite pieces and collections all throughout the house but this was only to keep up appearances. So, once more her opinions were disregarded, her voice went unheard. All she had ever wanted was for someone to love her. To know that they'd always be there for her - heart and soul. The events of that night was still stuck in her mind, how they had only been inches away from one another. His breath on her cheek, her heart running fast and hard. Frustrated she shook her head from left to right on her feather light pillow, a single tear bled from her closed eye. She knew that she could not go on feeling this way about Mr Bricker. If she did the pain would only be worst when it was over. Like jolts of electricity, bursts of energy ran through her entire body as if to fight these thoughts. Simon Bricker was like her own personal brand on adrenalin, making her crave things that she had long forgotten. Biting down on her bottom lip, she stretched out her arms and legs and imagined that Simon Bricker was in her bedroom. And as she did so, she grabbed at the cream sheet beneath her, crumpling it for a few seconds then releasing it, letting the smooth silk glide through her fingers.

Then, a noise outside the door, like footsteps walking away from outside her bedroom made her eyes snap wide, her breath caught in her throat, like she had something to hide. Looking down at the gap under the door, she could just make out the flickering of candlelight disappearing into the darkness. It was probably nothing. Edith or Mary must have called one of the maids she thought. Still wide awake, her head buzzing, she decided to get out of bed. Swinging her bare legs to the side, she sat up and took a cool sip of water from her bedside table, letting it trickle delicately down her dry throat before going to her wardrobe. She stood for a moment or two deciding on what robe she wear. Normally ,she would not even give any though to these things, but tonight she felt different. Putting her index finger to her lips she finally decided on a bright red robe with black floral lace on the neckline.

As she slipped on the robe, tightening the sash around her waist she checked herself in the mirror. Her lips were red as blood and her cheeks flushed with heat. Mr Bricker was staying the night. Robert was defiantly not coming back tonight, otherwise he would have called ahead, so that she could have the staff arrange his dinner when came back late. The first years that they were married he still tried, calling her even if he had sent a telegram in advance, just to wish her a good night. But, not anymore and with that thought she admitted to herself that she didn't even really know where he was tonight. She had put Mr Bricker up in her favourite guest room. All their rooms were elegantly decorated but that particular room seemed special somehow, as if it had the power to make you forget all your troubles when you entered it. The floor was a dark shining mahogany, three walls were black and the double bed, with its sky high spiral posts painted in a midnight blue was perfectly framed by the fourth burgandy wall. Cherubim angels filled the ceilings and made her think of a far away land. She wondered if he thought of her. Did he imagine them together; did he have the same burning and overwhelming desire to be with her as she did for him. She put her hand to one side of her face, the redness warming her hand. Slowly she undid her tight braid and let her soft raven curls spread around her milky white shoulders.

It was then, out of the corner of her eye that she spotted a small piece of paper folded in half on the floor. Reaching down she picked it up and walked over to her window, where the moon shone through the window, its pale blue light circling her. As she stared at the unopened note, the night's breeze washed over her, making her black night gown lift up only slightly so that she could feel the cool air between her thighs. Tugging at the edges of the thick paper she suddenly felt nervous yet excited at the same time, her fingers shaking slightly. Her eyes at once darted to the bottom corner, and when she saw his initials printed there, she felt a rush in her belly, like hundreds of butterflies had broken free out of their webbed cocoons. An endearing smile spread across her face as she traced the elegant **_S_**, then the _**B** _with her index finger.

_Dear Cora,_

_I do hope you can forgive me for this evening. I'm normally not like that, but you stir up emotions and feelings in me that I didn't even know existed. Since meeting you, my life has changed. It's like I've been asleep all my life. You- Cora darling, have awoken me. _

_I'd like to see you. I need to know if you feel the same way. Because, not knowing is tearing me apart. I'll be waiting for you at midnight in the greenhouse. _

_If you're not there I'll be sad, but I'll understand. No one will ever know, I give you my word. It would be as if nothing ever happened – I never so much as dreamt of you every single night since the first moment I saw you; our hands didn't intentionally brush against one another at dinner that first night; I never craved your lips, or wished I could slide my arms around your waist and whisper secrets into your ear; and this note never existed. _

_But I, my sweet Cora will never forget you. _

_You made me a better person. _

_You'll always be in my thoughts, prayers and heart._

_Yours truly,_

**_S.B.  
><em>**

His words made her heart swell inside her chest. No one had ever written anything like this to her before. He made he feel so special; like she was somehow unique. She knew the greenhouse well. It was a large house with thin glass walls, allowing for a large amount of sun light to seep in, soaking the plants and delicate flowers with it golden light. In the past she had used it as a type of solace, when she needed to think or just wanted to be alone. Touching the note to her lips, she knew that she had already made up her mind.

Closing the large windows, she sat at her dresser and turned on the small green lamp, its dangling crystal prisms clinging together in perfect harmony. Opening the draw of her dresser, she took out a deep red lipstick and slid it slowly over her plump lips. Trying to calm herself she closed her eyes and pressed her lips together, her tongue gliding along her bottom lip. Sucking in a deep breath, she felt her nerves rushing to her chest, her heart beating to the rhythm of all the thoughts running through her head. Looking up at the large black clock that hung above the dresser, she saw that it was ten minutes to midnight. And before she even thought of changing her mind, she turned off the light and left her room, ready to confront reality.

Quietly, she made her way down the large stairwell, avoiding the steps that she knew creaked, every now and then looking back to see if anyone was there. But, with her anxiety and the raw need to be close to him building insider her, making the blood rush to her head, she begun to run out of the house and onto the wet green grass.

Standing still in the middle of the immaculate grounds, she let the small drops of rain fall on her. Staring out onto the path that lead to the greenhouse she suddenly felt a sense of melancholy come over her. Her heart now pounded in her chest, and her eyes were wide and full of water.

_This was a fantasy._

_This was the beginning of the end._


End file.
